Scenes from the first circle


Hemingway: “John…”

Updike: “Yes Ernest?”

Hemingway: “They ummm, made a television show from one of your books…”

Updike: “Oh?  Ah.  Yes, I see they did.”

Hemingway: “It’s on after Cougar Town.”

Updike: “Oh?  Hmmm….”

Hemingway: “Gonna watch that one?”

Updike: “Christ no.”

Hemingway: “Ah, yes, yes.  Me neither.”

2 Hours later

Updike: “Ernest, something is troubling me.  Ernest?  Ernest, listen to me dammit!”

Ernest: “Ah?  Yes, yes.  What is it John?”

Updike: “What’s with your grandkids Ernest?

Ernest: “What’s that John?”

Updike: “Your spawn Ernest.  They are imbeciles.  A Moveable Feast was one thing, but these Ernest Hemingway Marinades???”

Hemingway: “Oh, I quite like the Key West one myself.”

Updike: “No you don’t Ernest.”

Hemingway: “Of course I do!  I was just talking to Jack London about it the other day in fact…”

Updike: “You lie Ernest.  London is in the seventh circle and you know damned well we can’t eat anything down here.  You are a liar, and the children of your children are idiots.”

Hemingway: “But…”

Updike: “Exactly.”