I’m sick of all these “writer types” writing about metal.  I’m going straight to the source and reading metal blogs from now on, and Illogical Contraption is in the running for my favorite simply based off the post, “INTERNET METAL REVELATION: Bobby Liebling Is A Halcoholic”

For those of you who don’t know, Bobby Liebling is the mastermind behind Pentagram.  For those of you who don’t know Pentagram (sorry bro), my friend Aaron (Summer of Megadeath) summed the band up for me in around twenty words: “Bobby Liebling’s long running outfit whose sound–an unabashed mix of Sabbath’s Vol. 4 and Randy Holden-era Blue Cheer–has come to define the doom metal genre.”

What won them this honor?  They write what I want to read.  Some examples of how to write about metal:

“our collective nads totally pumped for a Pentagram/Ludicra/Slough Feg triple feature. It’s rare that I go out on a weeknight, being the domestic old codger that I am, but shit dude, it’s FUCKING PENTAGRAM, right?”

“Ludicra weren’t bad either (although they need to work on their headbanging choreography a little bit).”

“Imaginations ran wild with images of what Bobby’s wife might look like, but I think she took everyone by surprise when she finally reared her stylish, nubile head. This was no toothless lot lizard, no elderly crackwhore riding the coattails of Bobby’s dwindling fame. Hal Liebling is a 23-year-old, American Apparel/Vice Magazine/Hot Topic HIPSTER, oversized sunglasses, skinny belt and all.”