Dick Watching: A slightly abridged version

Posted by Juliet Linderman

Happy Friday and happy dickwatching, dicksters! As the whale’s tail of the week approaches, it’s time for your favorite dick-related link list and all its delights. All aboard!

1. Cape Cod Today ran a cool throw-back piece (you’ve got to love community newspapers!) about a (gay?) whale named Willie, who 60 years ago continuously showed up on the shores of Provincetown to entertain its residents and visitors. These articles are adorable. Case in point, an excerpt:
“…In one previous visit, “Willie the whale” as he was dubbed, had smashed a dingy tossing a young Provincetown lad on the leviathan’s back where he held on for a brief whale of a ride…”
“…Last week he poked his head out of the calm Atlantic to race circles around the fishing yacht Katharine II and then, while its twenty passengers (including this reporter) watched in amazement, dive playfully beneath it.” Ah, Willie! Moving along (Provincetown I love you)

2. On October 19th, Alaska celebrated their Alaska Day Parade with Sitka Whalefest volunteers put together a 50-foot life-sized replica of a humpback whale and carried it down the street. This is, of course, absurd, but it does look pretty awesome. Also, this is funny:
‘…It was carried in the parade by about 20 people, including Richard Nelson, host of the syndicated radio nature program “Encounters.”
“I am so close to this whale right now I can practically reach out and touch it,” Nelson said, spoofing his trademark narration. “Ah! I actually touched this whale. It’s unbelievable. It feels almost like … a tarp.”’ Hardy har, Richard Nelson!

3. DUDES! Who needs to actually read Moby Dick now that you can play the video game instead! Only, the creators of this game skipped the reading part too. So, here are the instructions:
“You’re a big whale and you’re always hungry. That’s it…You have to EAT everything that moves…hit all human ships…Your main goal is to eat all the fisherman you can.”
The game itself is pretty basic: You’re a white whale, you try to hit boats and eat fish.  Upon  my first attempt, I would like to humbly tell all you dickwatchers that I did, in fact, earn a “five fish!” combo, in addition to six “sailor combos!” and an overall score of 45,150. Apparently that’s not enough to become “the terror of the seas.” A word to the wise: If you work in an environment where your boss can see what’s on your computer, don’t even click this link. I just played this  mindlesss game for twenty minutes. It rules! Enjoy, dicksters!