Posted by Juliet Linderman

Greetings and salutations, Dick Watchers! Sorry for the sebatical; don’t worry, we’re back with all the most pressing and relevant cetacean-related links for your pleasure and perusal. Let us cast away!

Oh man, Tillikum and Sea World is the news item that keeps on giving. Apparently, this big scary guy has killed three people now, and yet: SeaWorld insists on bringing him back for more shows. Here’s the thing: that’s a terrible idea. As a result of last year’s horror show, trainers are no longer allowed in the water with the orcas, but it still seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Am I right?!

But don’t worry, because orcas don’t like to eat humans half as much as they like to eat weddell seals. Orcas use a tactic of creative artificial waves to actually wash these little furry friends off ice floes and into their giant jaws. Orcas are actually pretty horrifying: they methodically skin and dismember seals before eating them, typically dividing up the parts among their pack.

If we need another reason to dislike orcas today, a pod of them stole a dude’s tuna right from his fishing like. Sheesh.

There have been so many epic disasters in the last couple of years it’s hard to focus on any single one for long enough to accurately assess the ramifications. Studies are now showing that devastation caused by the oil spill in the gulf is much more dire than originally expected. Scientists are worried that the initial death toll of dolphins and cetaceans in the gulf may likely be 50 times higher than they thought.

Congratulations to Moko the bottlenosed dolphin, who made TIME Magazine’s top ten list of outstanding animals for rescuing two pygmy sperm whales.

Holy jumping flying mako shark! No, seriously: a 350-pound flying mako shark jumped into a fisherman’s boat in Texas. Theeere’s video!

Hardy har har, and forget Ethan Hawke: Cover Author Working on Word-For-Word Remake of Moby Dick.