My Ten Bold Mad Men Season Finale Predictions Bound to Be Wrong

While my colleagues here at Vol.1 Brooklyn have been keeping a close eye on Girls, I’ve been following a different set of New Yorkers. The latest season of Mad Men wraps up this Sunday, so here are my guesses for what’s gonna go down:

1) In a scene reminiscent from last season’s finale, Megan heads to Orlando and accepts an “acting job” as a Disney costumed character.

2) Glen ends up at Castle de Francis where Madame Bluto forces him into a Half-Nelson so she can shave off his mustache.

3) After packing up her gogo boots in a huff, Sally hitches a ride to Plattsburgh and surprisingly orders codfish at the Howard Johnson.

4) Distraught by the lack of support at Weight Watchers, Betty falls asleep on her couch and dreams of a person named “Jenny Craig” who tells her there is a better way.

5) Roger and Dr. Timothy Leary jump into a Jaguar and decide to head West. After it breaks down, they are picked up by Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters who are looking to have some “fun.”

6) Wanting to show he hasn’t lost his writing chops or creative spirit, Don pulls  his own Star Trek spec script from his desk and asks Mother Lakshmi to put out some “feelers” for him.

7) Pete joins an underground boxing ring in the Bronx only to be bested by a masked Teddy Chaough, who is cheered on by a group of hippies eating Heinz beans.

8) When Harry and Stan can’t decide if The Beatles or The Rolling Stones are better, they invite Bert Cooper to White Castle to hash out the issue.

9) Ginsberg buys a Dictaphone and throws it down an elevator shaft just to bring a close to all of the symbolism in the world.

10) Remembering their pact, Peggy calls Ken and lets him know that prostitution is frowned upon at her new agency. “But…,” she says, “just on the off chance, you know, that Dow Chemical is still available…” She then winks uncontrollably at the phone as the episode fades to black.

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