I’ve known Kate Axelrod for ages now, and it’s been a pleasure to watch her evolve as a writer — as well as being able to publish her work in these pages. Her latest book, the collection How To Get Along Without Me, follows a group of people as they search for emotional connections and a better understanding of the world. It’s highly recommended, but don’t take my word for it: Axelrod’s collection was recently longlisted for The Story Prize as well. We chatted over email about the evolution of this collection and what it was like to put it all together.

Reading this collection, certain characters recur from story to story. Did you always have this ensemble in mind when you began writing about them, or was there something that led to you returning to this milieu?

I didn’t! When I first conceived of the collection these were all disparate stories and characters. Eventually I got some really helpful feedback that the collection needed to be more cohesive and so I did a lot of editing and essentially crafted four separate women and a handful of other people in their orbit.

Have you thought about revisiting any of these characters in newer work?

I really haven’t! I wrote most of the stories when I was single and in my late twenties/early thirties. As I approach my forties, my life feels very different now and it’s harder to connect with them in such an intimate way that I think is necessary for me when I’m writing.

Structurally, “Their Exes’ Exes” opens the book and feels like something of an overture to what follows. Did you always intend to open the book this way? How challenging was it to structure How to Get Along Without Me? 

It was definitely a challenge but one that I ultimately really enjoyed. I spent a lot of time moving things around and restructuring. I printed the stories and color coded them by character and organized chronologically. As I said, I wrote them all separately and didn’t really have a narrative arc in mind so it was interesting to see them through a different lens and figure out how to make them more connected and resonant. The beginning of the collection seemed like the only logical place for “Their Exes’ Exes” because it really sets the tone and stage for the rest of the book, I think?

Was there anything that surprised you about these stories as you revisited them for the collection?

It’s an interesting question. Some of the stories are loosely based on my own dating experiences and I have to say, I really preferred reading the ones from which I had more distance! I definitely had some moments reading through the stories that more closely resembled my life and felt some flickers of sadness or regret. I had a lot more fun reading the stories that I felt less connected to.

The title story plays with questions of presence and absence. As a writer, how do you create a character who might make more of an impression when they’re not around then when they are? 

I definitely don’t do that deliberately but I do think that ends up being a theme in the collection that I revisited often. So many of the romantic relationships in the book are fractured and flimsy and so the characters end up spending a lot more time with the idea of their partners/lovers etc than actually with them. I also think I’m very prone to nostalgia and so much of the book is about remembering what’s been lost or trying to revisit something, even if it no longer resembles what was originally there. (Thus the James Salter epigraph!)

New York City looms large in a lot of these stories. Do you consider the city to be a muse of sorts?

I wouldn’t have necessarily articulated it that way but yes, I think I do! I grew up in Manhattan and have lived in Brooklyn for about eighteen years. The city is so vibrant and I’m constantly moved (even by the most quotidian details) to try to preserve what I see.

What are you working on now? 

I’m not working on anything at the moment, which feels disappointing but I’m confident it will pass soon. I feel a bit overwhelmed and drained by the current climate of our country…but I know it won’t be long before I feel inspired again.

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