Poetry in Motion: Highlights from Vol. 1 Brooklyn’s NFC-AFC Championship Live Blog

Welcome. Introducting our panel of annual analysts: Climp Bators (Pigskin Warthog Online Editor, statistician, sub-par husband) Lash St. Cower (Portland Daily Gazette columnist, senile ex-lover of Eartha Kitt) Rosalind Propecia (on-field interviewer, ESPN Chechnya) Cormac McCarthy (Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Road and All the Pretty Horses, licensed misanthrope) Kegstands-X5 (sentient, artificially intelligent android sent from the future to discuss football) Peaches Malloy (three-time Pro Bowl running back, disgraced infomercial psychic)

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Poetry in Motion: The 1st Annual Vol. 1 Brooklyn Sportsfolk of the Year Awards

BATTING .500 TEAM OF THE YEAR: North Korea.  They conducted their third underground nuclear test, sure, but without the seasoned tutelage they’d come to know and love from Kim Jong-Il, 2013 was doomed to be a rebuilding year for the scrappy upstarts from the Paris of Totalitarianism.  Like so many other countries this year, they let their guard down and let VICE take over the entire nation.  Akin to the too-young Los Angeles Clippers, time will tell whether this nation […]

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Poetry in Motion: Mike Tyson’s Bad Dreams

By age 20, Mike Tyson was not only boxing’s heavyweight champion, but the most dominant athlete of the 1980s.  Not even the massive egos and grand stamina of Michael Jordan, Carl Lewis, or Rickey Henderson could deliver such a claim. He made his modest fighting height of 5’10” into a net positive, by employing a “peek-a-boo” technique of ducking extremely low in order to block opponents’ punches, and in his prime delivered his blows the way a typhoon delivers hydration: […]

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Poetry in Motion: New Punishments for Richie Incognito

Article I: The National Football League (henceforth “the NFL”, “NFL”, and/or “the League”) decrees that in conjunction with his ongoing suspension from his active roster, Mr. Incognito shall serve one hundred (100) hours of community service as an employee of the Grufferson Retirement Palace in Myanmar, Florida. When asked by residents if he is their grandson, Mr. Incognito will be required to answer in the affirmative, even if he is not the grandson of the resident in question. If prompted, […]

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