Somebody Please Tell Garrison Keillor to Shush His Mouth

Seriously, could somebody just pull Garrison Keillor’s jowls over his mouth and shut him up?  First he goes and disses Jews who wrote Christmas songs, then he goes and blabbers on about the publishing industry being dead:

“Self-publishing will destroy the aura of martyrdom that writers have enjoyed for centuries. Tortured geniuses, rejected by publishers, etc., etc. If you publish yourself, this doesn’t work anymore, alas.

Children, I am an author who used to type a book manuscript on a manual typewriter. Yes, I did. And mailed it to a New York publisher in a big manila envelope with actual postage stamps on it. And kept a carbon copy for myself. I waited for a month or so and then got an acceptance letter in the mail. It was typed on paper. They offered to pay me a large sum of money. I read it over and over and ran up and down the rows of corn whooping. It was beautiful, the Old Era. I’m sorry you missed it.”

Flavorwire went ahead and gathered the opinions of a bunch of people who actually know what they’re talking about, proving once again that Keillor is an old windbag who should retire