BRIAN ALAN ELLIS runs House of Vlad Press, and is the author of several books, including Sad Laughter (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2018) and Hobbies You Enjoy (serialized daily on Instagram: @hobbiesyouenjoy). His writing has appeared at Juked, Hobart, Fanzine, Monkeybicycle, Electric Literature, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, X-R-A-Y, Heavy Feather Review, and Yes Poetry, among other places. He lives in Florida.
My current favorite thing to read is: this exhaustingly sad biography about country legend Tammy Wynette, which chronicles her toxic relationship with George Jones, her beef with Hillary Clinton, and her insane foray into ’90s acid house music (“Stand by the Jams…”). There’s also electro-shock therapy sessions, dates with Burt Reynolds, kidnappings, painkiller addictions—you know, basic queen shit.
My current favorite things to watch are: YouTube videos of old men ranking their favorite Alice Cooper albums, but only when there isn’t a new season of Cobra Kai dropping.
My current favorite things to listen to are: mostly podcasts about pro wrestling, but also the EMO playlist I’ve been lovingly curating on Spotify for years.
My current state of mind is: spiraling into drug-induced madness and spiritual irrelevancy.
My current chemical romance involves: a steady diet of Diet Coke, BC Powder, and Super Orange Emergen-C vitamin packets.
My current words of wisdom are: “Block everyone who sucks,” via something I drunkenly tweeted on June 25 of this year, or “I should probably go home and read a book or something,” via some guy I overheard leaving the bar at 1:30 a.m.
My current mode of transportation involves: silently vibing to Charli XCX with my Uber driver.
My current favorite fast food item is: Wawa’s Hot Turkey Gobbler.
My current workout routine consists of: jumping from one worst-case scenario to the next and/or recklessly downing three cans of Diet Dr Pepper while watching Never Been Kissed on a portable DVD player.
My current regrettable decision involves: telling Chuck Klosterman’s publicist in an email about how I became a fan after randomly stealing Chuck’s first book from a Books-a-Million in 2001.
My current hopes and dreams were: destroyed when the ragtag team of twenty-somethings I’d assembled could not obtain Taylor Swift tickets for me.
My current projects and hobbies involve: leading a poetry workshop where I just cut up lines of coke and talk over everyone as we dissect Blake Schwarzenbach’s lyrics to Jawbreaker’s 24 Hour Revenge Therapy album.
Brian Alan Ellis is online at houseofvladpress.com.
Photo: Brandon Session