90s Daytime Television
by Frank Jackson
9am — Live with Regis and Kathie Lee
Regis makes a phone call to a lady in Des Moines, Iowa. He asks her a Hollywood question and she gets it wrong. She’s pretty chipper about the whole thing. They hardly even address the fact she had no idea who played Cleopatra in the 1963 version of the movie directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz. Kathie Lee seems more interested in what type of dogs the lady has barking in the background. Kathie Lee’s son Cody loves dogs, but her husband Frank is deathly allergic. Mom carefully brings me a bowl of scalding-hot Lipton Noodle soup. She has also been watching the show from our 12-inch television in the kitchen. “Elizabeth Taylor, you fucking moron,” she says. “I knew that one. How come they never call me,” she says.
