My Icon Hates Me

My Icon Hates Me by Fiona Helmsley My icon hates me. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Men we’ve had in common told me that one day this might be the case. Not because of any inherent belief they had in me, or my talents, but because of what they’d seen from her before. They described her disdain for other women like recognition, commendation. I’d gotten involved with most of them because of her. I’d taken the words I’d heard […]

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Disavowing Victim

Disavowing Victim by Fiona Helmsley I don’t like the word “victim.” Though it’s an accurate description of my role in certain situations, when it’s used to describe me as a person who has experienced sexual assault, I think it gives the perpetrator even more power. Here is the new identity you have foisted upon me. I am your victim. “Victim” refers to our inter-tangled relationship, and whenever I can, I want to be as separate from you as possible. I […]

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Souvenirs

Souvenirs by Fiona Helmsley The first time I ever saw a dead body was on a subway platform. It was the body of a white man, dressed business casual, in khaki pants, and black dress shoes. I couldn’t see his face or the upper part of his body, it had been covered with plastic. He was slumped backwards on a bench, his body held up by the wall behind it. He was freshly dead, The New York Times he’d been […]

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