Somebody Please Tell Garrison Keillor to Shush His Mouth

Seriously, could somebody just pull Garrison Keillor’s jowls over his mouth and shut him up?  First he goes and disses Jews who wrote Christmas songs, then he goes and blabbers on about the publishing industry being dead:

“Self-publishing will destroy the aura of martyrdom that writers have enjoyed for centuries. Tortured geniuses, rejected by publishers, etc., etc. If you publish yourself, this doesn’t work anymore, alas.

Children, I am an author who used to type a book manuscript on a manual typewriter. Yes, I did. And mailed it to a New York publisher in a big manila envelope with actual postage stamps on it. And kept a carbon copy for myself. I waited for a month or so and then got an acceptance letter in the mail. It was typed on paper. They offered to pay me a large sum of money. I read it over and over and ran up and down the rows of corn whooping. It was beautiful, the Old Era. I’m sorry you missed it.”

Flavorwire went ahead and gathered the opinions of a bunch of people who actually know what they’re talking about, proving once again that Keillor is an old windbag who should retire

1 comment

  1. This passionate anti-Keillorism is interesting. How quickly you impute to Keillor a “get off my lawn” overreaction, faulting him for lack of vision when in fact he makes a good point, even if you disagree with his conclusions. Yes, publishing is experiencing some radical changes, but that doesn’t mean the old guard can’t lament its passing.

    Besides, it was people like Keillor (the Chicken Littles of the world, remember) who during the rise of Amazon, for example, foretold the collapse of indie bookstores, only to be accused of “fearing the Internet.” In case you haven’t noticed, the overwhelming majority of indies were wiped out by e-retailers and the chain stores, just as Chicken Little predicted. Same with indie music stores, followed by corporate music stores. Which again may be fine with you, but doesn’t change the accuracy of the prediction.

    Let Keillor have his lament. Maybe even laugh with him along the way. You’ll share his bewilderment soon enough, when whatever system feels to you like the future becomes outdated and is scrapped accordingly.