Ten Musicians Who Would Probably Write Good Books

Posted by Jason Diamond

1. Milo Aukerman  of The Descendents

Sure, he’s a biochemist, but who ever said biochemists couldn’t tell good stories?  Maybe he could write a really good, short YA novel?

2. Stephen Malkmus (Pavement, Solo)

Buddies with David Berman (Silver Jews, poet), writes lyrics that a lot of people cream themselves over.  Might be good?

3. Mark E. Smith of The Fall

Influenced the above mentioned Malkmus.  Might give us a 500 page post modern novel about Captain Beefheart fighting alien witches in Chelsea, but would that really be so bad?

4. Will Oldham

It would probably be influenced heavily by the works of Faulkner and R. Kelly.

5. Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend

His book would probably be about being an upper class kid growing up on the Upper West Side that would be an awkward cross between Kipling, P.G. Wodehouse, and Salinger.  (an urban imperialist confused about his standing in high society?).  Most people would probably make fun of it, but then would probably end up buying it and liking it anyway.

6. Ted Leo

Seriously bro, your brother has LAPPED you in this category.  Put down that guitar, stop making musicals, and put that English degree to good use!

7. Jeff Mangum of Neutral Milk Hotel

At this point, if Mangum decided to stop hiding and put out anything, people would buy 50,000 of whatever it was, so a book might not be such a horrible idea since Mr. Recluse doesn’t want to make any music.

8. Zach Condon of Beirut

If you can’t get Mangum, get one of his disciples.  I’m sure Condon could write a few tales about drinking exotic liquor and sleeping with prostitutes in France.

9. Will Sheff of Okkervil River

Seriously surprised this hasn’t actually happened yet. 

10. Kanye West

Don’t think Kanye could pull off fiction, but a book of essays on baroque architecture and how great it is to be Kanye would probably sell in the Dan Brown numbers.


  1. I guess it’s my fault for not being more clear and saying that I wasn’t counting memoirs. I was thinking more along the lines of fiction. Although I’d be willing to bet that Mark E. book would be interesting.

  2. Nathan Willett, Cold War Kids…one of the smartest, most insightful lyricists going…topics covered include Salinger-esque geniuses, battered women, post Katrina survivors, death row compatriots