You don’t want to read that story by some middle-aged white dude that thinks women would be happier if they stopped reading books and started baking more, but the title is just so infuriating that you have to see what it’s all about. You don’t care about somebody getting a million dollar advance to write a memoir about how tough kindergarten was, but you just have to see what all the hullabaloo is about. You don’t want to give some 3000 word “think piece” on how Taylor Swift’s music and Ayn Rand’s ideas have a lot in common if you just listen, but you thought up such a snappy tweet about it that you just can’t help yourself.
With that in mind, we’re decided to embrace this trend. Here’s a sneak preview of some of the articles you’ll see from us later in 2013.
- Novels: Why Aren’t They More like the Internet?
- Lena Dunham is a better writer than you will ever be.
- The Seven Unreliable Narrators We’re Dying to Fuck.
- Top 15 Women Writers You Didn’t Know Were Total Dogs (slideshow).
- Why There are no Berries in Huckleberry Finn and 9 Other Literary Mysteries Explained.
- Win a Melville House Neck Tattoo.
- Alice Munro: Too Canadian?
- Drinking Like a Real Writer, Writing Like a Real Drinker.
- Ernest Hemingway: Greatest Role Model Ever
- I Sold Crack To Pay For This MFA.
What other hate click pieces should we come up with? Something we’ve gathered from our studies is that crowd sourcing this sort of thing really helps. What totally horrible non-stories would you like to see from us in 2013? Please help us get those ever important clicks we so desperately crave.