JILLIAN LUFT is a Florida native currently residing in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared in X-R-A-Y, Hobart, Expat Press, Rejection Letters, Booth and other publications. She’s currently working on a novel about Florida dirtbag romance. You can find her on Twitter @JillianLuft.
My current favorite thing to read is: usually whatever I’m reading, so Annie Ernaux’s Getting Lost. 20 pages in, I just knew she was a Virgo like me. Overthinking everything about her relationship with the object of her desire. Fastidious about her appearance and meticulously recounting the details of every interpersonal exchange. It was like reading about the worst or most shameful parts of myself. At once validating and dehumanizing.
My current favorite thing to watch is: VH1’s Rock of Love. Revisiting this remarkable achievement of reality television turns me into a tiny childlike king, stoned on trashy Sunset Strip romance. When Bret Michaels says, “Whassagoing on?” anytime he lays his eyes on another pair of tits, I get that much more in touch with my animal self and that much closer to understanding what this world is all about.
My current favorite things to listen to are: these songs each morning in the following order—Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Bad Thing Twice” and “Anxious (Bonus Track),” PJ Harvey’s “Blackhearted Love,” Nine Inch Nails’ “Sunspots,” and Type O Negative’s “Love You to Death.” It’s a journey from tempered hope straight into the abyss. Keeps me tethered to reality.
My current state of mind is: engaging in the perpetual and painful struggle to tether myself to reality.
My current chemical romance involves: a transcendent threesome (two Pineapple Chili Hard Kombuchas and a sliver of sativa gummy). Add old music videos and repeat as often as possible. Nostalgic bliss guaranteed.
My current words of wisdom are: “Even if it’s not the ‘best’ idea, it could still be worth it.” – Elle Nash, via a Twitter conversation we recently had.
My current mode of transportation is: transporting my body, mind and soul via sensory deprivation tank. Floating in dark nothingness with nothing but my thoughts. It’s life distilled to its irrefutable essence. You are alone in this world. Highly recommend.
My current favorite fast food item is: …just as there is only Zuul, there is only the Cheesy Gordita Crunch for me. There is no other. Unless Checkers wants to bring the Cajun Burger back. Then I’d engage in some serious deliberation.
My current workout routine consists of: seriously deliberating whether or not infrequently exercising will result in early demise. Deciding I’ll try again tomorrow.
My current regrettable decision involves: telling the general public in an interview that I don’t workout.
My current hopes and dreams include: …I’m superstitious, so I’d rather not relay my hopes. I can tell you my dreams though. Everyone loves to hear those, right? I recently had one about two fairly famous writers who were once married. Both were trying to murder me. I was running around this two-story house trying to defend myself from certain impalement. They both had knives.
My current projects and hobbies involve: watching Criterion Channel films in alphabetical order. Waking up at 2 am overcome with mortal dread and watching a reality show about an ex-Orthodox woman turned modeling agency CEO. Waking up at 4 am with mortal dread and buying the Cure t-shirt that a middling pop star is wearing on her Instagram feed. Waking up at 6 am and praying the mortal dread will cease eventually. Also, obnoxiously endorsing sensory deprivation tanks and finishing my book about Florida dirtbag romance.
Jillian Luft is online at jillianluft.com.
Brian Alan Ellis runs House of Vlad Press, and is the author of several books, including Sad Laughter (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2018) and Hobbies You Enjoy (serialized daily on Instagram: @hobbiesyouenjoy). His writing has appeared at Juked, Hobart, Fanzine, Monkeybicycle, Electric Literature, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, X-R-A-Y, Heavy Feather Review, and Yes Poetry, among other places. He lives in Florida.