BARRACUDA GUARISCO (C. C. Hannett / Kris Hall) is a cheesesteak-obsessed, bisexual crybaby who enjoys absurdity at varying levels. Barry is the author of several books in the Spuyten Duyvil Publishing universe, as well as Uncomfortable Music (Vegetarian Alcoholic Press, 2021) and The Gold Boys are back in Gold Town (Really Serious Literature, 2020; co-authored with Joshua Robert Long). Nominated for Best Microfiction, he is the founder and editor-in-chief of Really Serious Literature, and has had work placed with Maudlin House, giallo lit, Silent Auctions, Meow Meow Pow Pow, and various other outlets found under Entropy’s “Where to Submit” list. He lives with his wife, Pilar, and doesn’t know what day it is. You can find him if you want to.
My current favorite books are: Affect by Charlene Elsby, and the audiobook of Chuck Tingle’s Buttception (read by Sam Rand). I’ve been circling the drain of gloom and I think these two collections have assisted in plugging (pun?) my psyche from dropping through. Both sides of my coin are sparked, I’d say.
My current favorite film director is: …woof. I haven’t had the focus to sit through more than a small stack of streaming beauts in a bit. I guess Charlie Kaufman would be a long term/current favorite. I’m Thinking of Ending Things checked off a lot of boxes for me, though I did find myself asking “Can you hurry up then?” a few spots in.
My current favorite television show is: …oh my god. Oh my god. Maybe it’s the pandemic marinade that’s making me extra tender, but I suggest you check out Somebody Feed Phil. The dude is so happy and wholesome it’s uncomfortable. The creator of Everybody Loves Raymond makes dad jokes and hyper-intense expressions at every turn while he travels the world and stuffs his face with landmark dishes, and even finds the time to video-call his family back home to be included. Cringe factor 10 ’cause who has the energy to be that happy? Glad he’s doing it so I don’t have to.
My current favorite songs are: …erm, hmmm, well… Better Person’s “Dotknij Mnie” and Danny Denial’s “Totally Fucked Up (feat. Eva Walker)” have got me feeling me some type of way on constant repeat. Pretty strong 2020 anthems, too.
My current state of mind is: molt-ready with a hard touch of apathy split between rounds of cribbage and memes.
My current chemical romance involves: tequila, Coors Light (whewps), and Newport menthols.
My current favorite quote is: “Arrabiata is Italian for angry, meaning you’re making angry (or spicy) sauce!”
My current mode of transportation is: an elevator for laundry.
My current favorite fast food item is: T-Bell’s Quesarito, normally, when it’s not a correct cheesesteak. I’ve been revisiting comfort lately and find I really can’t get enough of chicken teriyaki over rice and that damn beautiful salad with the mmm-mmm dressing. Diet Coke no matter what, though.
My current workout routine consists of: hopping on the treadmill for thirty minutes once every six months.
My current regrettable decision involves: yelling at the cat… since it’s not his fault I don’t speak cat.
My current hopes and dreams are: that masks stay forever so I can always feel fresh in my battle against the public eye.
My current projects/hobbies include: cribbage, memes, and my new book.
Barracuda Guariosco is online at vegetarianalcoholicpress.com.
Brian Alan Ellis runs House of Vlad Press, and is the author of several books, including Sad Laughter (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2018). His writing has appeared at Juked, Hobart, Fanzine, Monkeybicycle, Electric Literature, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Funhouse, Heavy Feather Review, and Yes Poetry, among other places. He lives in Florida.